A Lily in the Valley-A Story of Abuse and Purpose- Chapter 10- Times Were Changing

lily 3Over the next few years, I prayed and planned and executed until I could begin to see a new life being manifested.

I focused on changing me, not him.  I stopped caring about trying to make things right with him. God was my focus.  I prayed over my doorways, food, clothes everything! And he noticed that things were changing, that  was I changing.

He had stopped hitting me now.

It was 1995, my son was almost 9 and it had been nearly 7 years since he hit me the very first time. Things were still volatile though. Living him during that time was kind of like walking around with a pot filled with boiling water, one wrong move and you knew something bad was going to happen.

I had grown a lot. I was closer to God. I got a promotion at work and I had found a new house!

I was able to save $5,000 that I hid under the carpet. It was time to go.

In my quite moments, I could hear the Spirit tell me to leave him there, not to bring him into my new home.

But I didn’t listen.

Next Chapter-Chapter 11- The Last Time
__________
CHAPTER 9- HOW I KNEW GOD WAS LISTEN
CHAPTER 8- THERE’S A LILLY IN THE VALLEY
CHAPTER 7- I HAD TO FIGURE IT OUT
CHAPTER 6- MAMA SAID, I’D HAVE TO KILL HIM
CHAPTER 5- I CAN FIX THIS
CHAPTER 4- THE FIRST TIME
CHAPTER 3- THE EARLY SIGNS
CHAPTER 2- HOW WE MET
CHAPTER 1 – MAMA
INTRODUCTION
______________________________________________________________
MY MOST PRAYERFUL & POPULAR  MINI EBOOKS!:
PRAYING FOR THE GREATER THINGS
LORD, LORD…PRAYERS TO PRAY WHEN EVERYTHING’S A MESS!

A Lily in the Valley-A Story of Abuse and Purpose- Chapter 9-How I knew God was Listening.

lily 3One late night long after he had gone out for the night, I had fallen asleep without praying and I hastily jumped up and went to my knees to pray.

And when I began to pray, these words came out first, “Father, I come to you in prayer and supplication…”

I finished my prayers and climbed back into bed anxious to go back to sleep and that was when I opened my eyes suddenly realizing that I didn’t know what supplication meant and it frighten me. I think I stayed up the rest of the night! I was so nervous, not knowing what this word meant. Why did I say it and how could I use it without first knowing it even existed. I couldn’t wait to get to work that morning to look it up and find out its meaning.

When the sun rose, I quickly got dressed for work and anxiously sat at my desk to look up the word supplication and this is what I found; supplication- the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly.

I was shocked and overwhelmed because I know at that moment that God was listening, that He was teaching how to pray.

To this day, this is how I begin my prayers.

_______________________________________________________________

Chapter 8- There’s A Lilly in the Valley

Chapter 7- I Had to Figure It Out

Chapter 6- Mama said, I’d Have to Kill Him

Chapter 5- I Can Fix This

Chapter 4- The First Time

Chapter 3- The Early Signs

Chapter 2- How We Met

Chapter 1 – Mama

Introduction

______________________________________________________________

My Most Prayerful & Popular  Mini eBooks!:

Praying for the Greater Things

Lord, Lord…Prayers to Pray When Everything’s a Mess!

 

RESTORED- A Private Facebook Community

RESTOREDJust like most of us, every year at this time, I reassess various aspects of my life in effort to figure out what changes I need to make to improve what needs to be better.

And as I thought it out over the last month or so, I realized that there are millions of women doing the same thing, trying to come with plans and strategies to be better.

So I decided to create a private facebook community called RESTORED! 

Here is the description:

Restored is a safe and private space where women can come together to share our challenges, hopes and dreams, fears and frustrations; while granting each other love, support, advice and prayers in our efforts to be RESTORED- to find ourselves whole, healthy, happy and rejoicing!

I created RESTORED because I am exhausted! I have spent a great portion of my life, loving, caring, praying, healing, feeding, crying, working, fighting, encouraging, cooking, cleaning, yelling, driving, washing, sweeping, planting, watering, organizing, thinking, planning, saving, etc., etc. so that the people and things I care about can thrive and prosper. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have it any other way. But it’s time! It’s time to be RESTORED, to dedicate more time, love, energy and effort to being and feeling better!  But then I recalled all the other women I knew and the challenges they face every day.

So I thought, why not create a space where we can be there for each other.

Here’s how it goes.

As I member of RESTORED, you must have the courage to share your feelings and challenges and have the heart to support others through theirs. You will be helped and give help. Anything shared on RESTORED, stays on RESTORED! Only respect and compassion are allowed. You must commit to sharing your knowledge, experience, resource, wisdom and sense of humor to help get each other through. No judgment, only acceptance, prayers, help and understanding.

We are mothers, doctors, lovers, wives, lawyers, teachers, waitress, receptionists nurses, business owners, truck drivers, consultants, creatives, advisors, musicians, counselors, singers, artists, writers, dentists, mechanics, bloggers, photographers, we fly planes and plant flowers and make each other beautiful!

Together, our powers are limitless and here, we will use them to help restore each other!

We will pat each on the back and wipe one another’s tears. We’ll laugh and share pictures.  We will hold each other accountable to the commitment we make to ourselves. And we will remind each other that we have only begun to scratch the surface of our God given potential, that within us lies the unlimited power to do what we say we’re going to do and be what we say we’re going to be!

So begin by telling us who you are and why you’re here.

Welcome Sister!

If this sounds like a place you want to be, please join us and bring a friend.

I’ll see you inside! Here’s the link!

FINISH! How to Complete Everything You Start, Every Time, No Matter What!

The year is ending and the new year is upon us.

Now is the time that we begin to make resolutions about what we’ll do to be better and commit ourselves to the changes we’ll make to get there.

Unfortunately, they’ll probably be the same things that we committed to in years past but for whatever reason, we quit, gave up, threw in the towel, etc. etc.!

No matter how you put it, quitting sucks! It can take a permanent toll on our self-esteem and credibility and is almost always equated with failure!

Every time I’ve quit something, my first response was to try to justify it so I’d feel better about myself. But the hard truth was, I quit…period!

But I know now that there are specific steps that you can take to getting things done once you’ve started.

I have written nearly 2500 words on how to

  • Lessen the probability that you’ll quit a task,
  • Ensure that you will not only complete what you start, but finish  confidently and creatively,
  • And finish with minimal stress and frustration!

FINISH!

How to Complete Everything You Start, Every Time,

No Matter What!

…is my best, most upfront and common sense advice for getting it done!
You will get:

A 18 Big Beautiful , Easy to Read PDF Pages – Immediately Downloaded to your smartphone, computer or other mobile device!

Contents:

  1. Let’s Start
  2. How to Decide
  3. Tell the Kids About It
  4. Timing
  5. Finish Line Tools
  6. Rah! Rah! Rah
  7. Watch Out for the “I Told You So-ers!”
  8. Patience
  9. Treat Yo’ Self!
  10. Are You Done Yet!
  11. Plan On Quitting
  12. There Is Value In Trying

So Here’s to Finishing What We Start in 2016!

FINISH!

How to Complete Everything You Start, Every Time,

No Matter What!

Download It Here-$5

 

 

Stop Coming Up With Reasons to Fail!

Do you do this?

When you come to a crossroads about whether or not to buy something for yourself or do something you’ve never done or make some type of life change and almost immediately, you start coming up with reasons to fail!

The conversation in your head starts to go something like…

  • This is too expensive
  • I might need the money for something else
  • I’ll do it later
  • Now is not the time
  • It’ll take too much right now
  • I don’t have the skills
  • I’m not smart enough to do that
  • I don’t have the tools
  • The holidays are coming
  • I don’t have help
  • I don’t have the support
  • It’s too hard
  • I’m too tired
  • My kids need me
  • I really don’t need it
  • I’ll wait until…
  • Um…I don’t knowww
  • I have to see what ___ thinks
  • When…then…
  • I need to lose 20lbs first
  • Etc. Etc.

Stop it!

What we’re really saying when we do this is…

  • I’m scared
  • I don’t deserve it

And here’s the big one…

  • Do I love myself enough?

We have got to get away from the mindset that says, “I will do and be for others what I will NOT do and be for myself.”

And the way we do that is to…

  1. Recognize it when it’s happening; when for no good reason, you’re trying to talk yourself out of something better.
  2. Reject it because it’s unhealthy!
  3. Replace it with prayerful thinking and positive action!

Share this post with someone who would find it helpful!

A Lily in the Valley-A Story of Abuse and Purpose- Chapter VIII. There’s A Lilly in the Valley

lily 3When I was 17 years old, Mama gave all of us (my brothers and sisters) bibles for Christmas. They were these huge family bibles, the ones that you past down from generation to generation. She wrote our names and the date in each one. I have to admit that at that moment, I was disappointed and I would have preferred cash. But I pretended to be grateful.

I was at least 5 years in at this point. I no longer possessed the energy to fight or heart to concede. But he never changed, always jealous, always insecure, and always ready to get in the ring. Our fights were still customary but now the abuse was more verbal and he seemed to be resolved with making threats.

One night after he had gone out, I noticed that family bible that Mama had given me many Christmas’ ago. I had attempted to read it a few times before but this time it felt different. I skimmed through with no particular agenda, just looking for anything at all that would relieve me. I had nothing left, I was empty. I had no plans or strategies, just tears and a broken spirit. I fell asleep that night with no major revelations but when morning came, my spirit had become renewed.

I knew at this moment that I would lay down my arms. No more arguing on my part, no more fighting or standing toe to toe, no more strategies for escape.  I knew then that I would fight a fight guided by the Spirit.

I begin to pray; not that I hadn’t prayed before but now it was with intention.

I prayed over every room in my apartment asking God to bind the spirit of anger and rage that resided there for so long and to replace it with peace and contentment. I prayed over the entrances and exits, faithful that whoever entered would come in peace, doing no hurt or harm. I gladly cooked for him now because it gave me the opportunity to pray over his food. I’d pray that the Spirit of God  would allow the consumption of his food to not only nourish his body but calm his mind and comfort his heart.

I prayed constantly day and night asking God mostly to “help me!”

Now, I looked forward to his late nights out; the apartment would get really quiet then and peace would abide.  This allowed me to pray and rejoice in the Lord. Every night before I would finally lie down to sleep, I would get on my knees on his side of the bed and I’d pray for a new life, a better life.

I had an old audio tape player, you remember the one’s with the 6 buttons, play, rewind, fast forward, pause, stop. It was old and dusty but it worked.  He was a DJ in his spare time and there was always music around.  As I was scavenging through old tapes and records, yes records, I found a tape by John P. Kee, a gospel artist. I put this tape in my old tape player and that’s when I heard the song,  “Lily in the Valley”.

The words and spirit of this song restored my soul. It was barely recognizable but I was able to feel a sense of joy and hope. It was like God put his hand out to me and touched me on the crown of my head like you would a child and said I’m here, you are not alone, I’m here, don’t you worry.

I knew I was going to be ok.

_______________________________________________________________

Chapter 7- I Had to Figure It Out

Chapter 6- Mama said, I’d Have to Kill Him

Chapter 5- I Can Fix This

Chapter 4- The First Time

Chapter 3- The Early Signs

Chapter 2- How We Met

Chapter 1 – Mama

Introduction

______________________________________________________________

My Most Prayerful & Popular  Mini eBooks!:

Praying for the Greater Things

Lord, Lord…Prayers to Pray When Everything’s a Mess!