It’s an old message, “take better care of yourself so you can take better care of the people and things you care about.” I’m not going to tell you that I’ve figured out how but what I can tell you is over my 30+ adult years;
I’ve had 3 children – I picked a husband who’s really pretty great! – I started a business for the primary purpose of encouraging people to be better. – I cook, wash clothes, clean, dust, and pay bills. – I scrub tubs & toilets and mop floors. – I repair what breaks, attend school events & meetings.- I discipline and defend. – I encourage and wipe tears, hold hands and pat backs. – I make sure doctor’s appointments are kept. – I buy on sale and use coupons if I have them. – I cry and fight and yell, if that’s what it takes. – I make sure you take your meds and prescriptions are filled. – I search the grocery isles looking for exactly what you need.- I smile and whistle and cheer your name. – I check up on you in the middle of the night. – I make sure you’re warm and check for fever and bruises. – I give up the remote and I laugh only when you’re funny because you trust me not to deceive you. – I listen to when you complain and I am always on your side. – If you’re mad I’m mad because that’s just how I roll. – I wait patiently because I know you need time.- I never just let you win because I know you love a challenge. – I fix your plate first and make sure you have enough. – I only say no when know it’s for the best. – When I say “yes, honey you’re right” I mean it. – I stand in lines and wait in traffic because what I’m getting and where I’m going is important to you. – I take and frame pictures and make scrapbooks. – I stay up late and make sure you go to bed early. – I believe you, I really do! – I scratch your back and rub your feet. – I actually enjoy saying “I’m sorry” because that’s when the healing begins. – I’ll wait for you longer than I reasonably should. – I donate, vote and volunteer. I watch the news and form an opinion. – I’ll let you in when traffic is heavy. I remember important dates. – I tell it like it is, so don’t ask if you don’t want to know. – – I’m always early. – I water the plants. – I’d rather give you a hug than shake your hand. – I’m a loyal friend. – I’ll listen to your worries and I always answer when you call. – I write “thank you” letters to show my gratitude. – I always say, please and thank you and I tip well. – When I ask, “how are you?” I really want to know. – I recycle and turn out the lights when they’re not being used. – Every night I say my prayers and pray for those who truly suffer…etc, etc! (From My Post How to Know When You’re Enough! on begintobelieve.com)
I said all this to say that it appears quite obvious that I am more than enough for the people and things I care about.
But then the question becomes, am I enough for me!
Whether it’s by nature or nurture, we are quite comfortable giving away our stuff; our love, our time, charity, compassion, patience, friendship, our forgiveness and tolerance and even our bodies, as long as it’s in the best interest of those we love.
But where are WE in the line when we’re being so generous with our stuff? Are we in line at all or are we waiting to get what we need from someone else; someone who somehow cares more for us than we can are for ourselves. Is this even possible?
What happens for me and I think for most of us (us being women, girls, females, chicks, mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, girlfriends etc.) is that it feels good to take care of the people and things we care about. There is a great sense of satisfaction that fills my heart and spirit when we know that those we love are ok and that we had a hand in their ok-ness.
It’s what we do. It is our role in the universe.
But around the age of 49 or so, my heart began to secretly pray, Lord …please let this be enough.
But I knew. I knew that it wasn’t.
I quickly realized that I would have to play catch up; that I would now have to learn to become the most important thing in my life; and that this was the only way that I was going to live out my fullest, truest and most complete life!
And I also discovered that, not finding myself first often enough over all these years was at the root of why I struggle/struggled with all those things me!
Up until this moment, my life had happily and naturally become this dance of moving back, stepping aside and waiting.
So, I made myself a promise and I want you to do the same. I promised myself to take now!
- I’m taking now to … say a prayer for me
- I’m taking now to … heal & comfort myself
- I’m taking now to … give myself time
- I’m taking now to … change my mind
- I’m taking now to … wish myself the very best
- I’m taking now to … be brutally honest with myself & you
- I’m taking now to … rest.
- I’m taking now to … forgive myself
- I’m taking now to … find the courage to be brave for my own sake
- I’m taking now to … provide myself the things I need as best I can.
- I’m taking now to … remember to pat my own back
- I’m taking now to … to cheer my name
- I’m taking now to … tell myself that everything’s going to be alright!
- I’m taking now to … have a little more self-respect
- I’m taking now to … have what I call fun
- I’m taking now to … cry HARD and be ok with it.
- I’m taking now to … say, “no” and be ok with it.
- I‘m taking now to … stop and be ok with it
- I’m taking now to … refuse to justify my actions
- I’m taking now to … let go of responsibility for your actions
- I’m taking now to … to adopt a “fuck you” attitude whenever applicable.
- I’m taking now to … let go of guilt, self-pity and other shitty feelings that hold me back
- I’m taking now to … listen to that little voice in the back of my head and respond accordingly.
- I’m taking now to… jump without letting how you feel about it stop me.
- I’m taking now to … finally decide
- I’m taking now to … say to myself, “girl, I LOVE YOU and YOU are the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE!”
– TAKING NOW! –
A Female Guide
to Becoming the Most Important Thing in Your Life!
( The Book)