We have all had our fair share of hurtful moments; moments of fear, loss, disappointment, heartbreak etc. Sometimes these moments are small and pass quickly but sometimes they don’t; sometimes we get stuck in the… More
There was so much that she wanted to do and she felt like she had finally decided how she would go about it!
But somehow, she was still a little unsure about the direction she was taking. So I shared with her how I ensured that my decisions, especially major decisions are divinely guided.
When you discover that you are one of those people called to go into the world to make a difference, it can be an overwhelming and lonely process.
The moments of doubt and frustration can seem to cloud your path at every turn. And out the need to feel satisfied, you try to convince yourself that there is no need to put yourself out there any further.
But you know deep in your heart that this only the deceitful comfort of “good enough”. So you gather your spirit and courage and press on.
So, I went on to share with her some of my little sacred secrets for staying divinely guided…knowing that every step and every moment has purpose for me.
- I ASK for divine guidance everyday
- I have regular moments of silence & stillness.
- I embrace times of inconvenience and frustration
- I am conscious of fret and worry and I pray that they past me quickly
- I look for lessons to learn whenever I’m sick or when things don’t appear to be going my way.
- In times of anger and resentment, I remind myself that I am being tested.
- And being afraid or anxious is almost always a definite sign that I’m on the right track!
- Accepting that if it hasn’t happen yet, its because I’m not ready-there’s still work to be done.
- I help and encourage people long the way.
These are just 9 of my little sacred secrets that help to reassure me that I’m on the right path.
When you can stay in tuned with these practices, you will avoid the doubt and isolation that comes with feeling lost, stuck or frantic. They will help to minimize indecisiveness and build your confidence and self esteem.
And you will find yourself more in line with where you think you should be in your journey!
MY MOST PRAYERFUL & POPULAR MINI EBOOKS!:
So, a few weeks ago, I started working out and basically recommitting myself to feeling better. And I remembered that I wrote a prayer about Health in my prayer book Lord, Lord…Prayers to Pray When Everything’s a Mess! and I re-read it today. And it to me is so powerful and to the point and really reigns in all of the challenges we face when we want to do better for our physical selves.
I don’t face a lot of the challenges I pray about here. But I wanted to touch on as much as I could at the time and through God I was able to put together the words, creating a wholehearted and Spirit based plea for help from the Divine in overcoming the things that hinder us all from becoming our better selves.
I hope it serves you well!
Father God, I’m so grateful for every breath. Thank you for this; but Lord, Lord… I want to feel better!
My lack of exercise, green food, water and other right things has taken a toll.
Lord, I want to be free from pills, pain and prescriptions; free from doctors and nurses limited in spirit and understanding.
I want to be able wake up in the morning limber, clear of mind; no longer bound by restless nights.
I want to breathe full breaths without the help of artificial apparatuses; to walk and run unassisted and unencumbered. I want my heart, brain, blood, organs and arteries to function in Your Divine perfection, absent of the residue of bad habits and generational weakness.
Lord, help me to use my common sense in making these things so;
To eat, drink and care for my body and mind as You would have me to, removing any desires and weaknesses that may tempt me to do otherwise. To be reminded that french fries, chocolate and things of this nature are only good in moderation and in some cases not at all.
I no longer want to use cigarettes, drugs and alcohol as healing and pacifying elixirs.
Remove me from the presence of bad company, those who perpetuate my bad decisions, pretending to be friends but instead are only victims themselves of the adage, “misery loves company.”
Lord, help me to become worthy of this energy and I promise to do good with it. I promise to learn from my mistakes and limitations and to use this knowledge and energy for the betterment of someone else.
And I come to you on behalf of those who truly suffer; those no longer able to reach out to You in prayer in this way; those whose bodies and minds have succumbed to dis-ease, trauma, mis-use and abuse… Lord, have mercy.
Comfort them in knowing that even in this state, God is still God.
Lord, I pray that You bless and keep us all in Spirit, truth, grace, mercy, righteousness and perfect health in Your name,
If you are interested in having the entire book of prayers, go here or checkout the link in my side bar!
Here’s how it’s going!
It’s been awhile since I last posted a blog to business post, well that’s because I have decided to redirect my focus.
Basically, I’ve decided to strictly focus on completing my book, making sure that I am making it the best possible product that I can create at this moment.
As I was making my way through BookBoss, there are of course are assignments and things that you need to do as a part of the process. And what I realized was that I found it very difficult to give both completing my book and following through on Bookboss assignments, my absolute best effort, every time!
And this really started to bother me! I had to stop and re-assess my strategy.
So, I decided to put off Bookboss for now and solely work on my book.
So, how do you know when to redirect your focus?
- When you feel rushed or overwhelmed.
- When the process isn’t authentic to who you are and how you work.
- When you feel out of sync with your better work ethics and practices
- When the process just doesn’t feel good.
- When you know you aren’t doing your best work!
Now, I feel like I can more effectively control how I work and what I do every day and I know that I have a better chance of writing a book that represents my ideas in a more focused, intentional and authentic way!
When I’m closer to finishing my book, then I will be able to give the course the time and energy it deserves.
He had already left for work I guess. We had been sleeping in separate rooms for months.
I stayed in bed for awhile thinking over everything that had happened the night before.
What if… I hadn’t put my hands up to my neck and stop him from tightening the cord around my neck?
What if …Mama hadn’t called me at that exact moment?
Why didn’t I call the police?
That afternoon after work, I went to Mama’s house as usual. I expected that Mama would continue her lecture on how she had told me so! How she had told me that I was making a mistake and that this guy was no good for me. But instead, there was Daddy, sitting under the patio in the lounge chair where Mama would usually sit. I was startled to see him.
Daddy is a quiet man who worked hard to provide for us and always trusted Mama to take the lead in advising the children through life. But this day he had something to say.
This is what he said…
“I understand that you had a problem last night. I am an old man now and it doesn’t matter to me if I live or die. I’m not telling you to leave him, but I telling you to fix it or I will.”
The next morning I filed a restraining order.
“A Lily in the Valley-A Story of Deliverance- Is the true, continuing story of how I survived a life of domestic violence “
So, it used to be that when I thought I had a great idea or goal, my mind would get overwhelmed with trying to figure out…
- How do I do this?
- Where do I start?
And/or I would lose my way when my heart would tell me…
- I can’t do it.
- It’s not gonna work.
- I don’t have what it takes.
Or worse, I’d quit all together because…
- Maybe I’m not worthy?
- Maybe I don’t deserve it?
I realized that there was this struggle going on between my heart, mind and spirit?
So, I had to figure out how to get them in sync; how do you get your heart, mind and spirit to agree?
First, have a conversation with your heart;
- What do I desire?
- What do I deserve?
- What can I do without?
This will help you set a goal that you’re passionate about while factoring in reason and common sense.
The second conversation is with your head & mind.
- What do I know?
- What don’t I know?
- What am I willing to figure out?
This will help to get a picture of how hard you’re going to have to work to make this thing happen and whether or not you’re actually up to the task.
And finally have a talk with God/Spirit.
- Do I honestly care about this thing and if so, why
- Is this a God given desire or do I really have a hidden or selfish agenda.
- What GOOD will it serve?
This will help you to make sure that your intentions are sincere and ensure that there is a purpose bigger than yourself involved; and as far as I’m concerned, there is nothing more important than this!
Take the time to have this HONEST dialogue and if you can get your heart, mind and spirit to agree on
- What to do & why?
- How you’re going to do it and if you have what it takes to get it done?
- And finally who it will benefit?
….failure is almost impossible because you will be better prepared to accept the outcomes as they are NOT as you wish them to be. And in fact, you will have increased the likelihood that your outcomes WILL meet your expectations.
So why do I say failure is ALMOST impossible? Because letting go of the concept of failure is hard, it takes intention and courage. And remember that there is a difference between failure and disappointment.
It’s ok to be disappointed when things don’t work out the way we expected.
Disappointment is a temporary state and will soon pass but latching on to a sense of failure can feel permanent and keep you from trying again.
Realizing this was an important Aha moment for me…start here and begin the conversation!
It’s an old message, “take better care of yourself so you can take better care of the people and things you care about.”
Some how this can be easier said than done!
Over the last 30 years…
I’ve had 3 children – I picked a husband who’s really pretty great! – I started a business for the primary purpose of encouraging people to be better. – I cook, wash clothes, clean, dust, and pay bills. – I scrub tubs & toilets and mop floors. – I repair what breaks, attend school events & meetings.- I discipline and defend. – I encourage and wipe tears, hold hands and pat backs. – I make sure doctor’s appointments are kept. – I buy on sale and use coupons if I have them. – I cry and fight and yell, if that’s what it takes. – I make sure you take your meds and prescriptions are filled. – I search the grocery isles looking for exactly what you need.- I smile and whistle and cheer your name. – I check up on you in the middle of the night. – I make sure you’re warm and check for fever and bruises. – I give up the remote and I laugh only when you’re funny because you trust me not to deceive you. – I listen to when you complain and I am always on your side. Read more on this from my post- How to Know When You’re Enough!
I said all this to say that it appears quite obvious that I am more than enough for the people and things I care about.
But then the question becomes, am I enough for me!
Whether it’s by nature or nurture, we are quite comfortable giving away our stuff; our love, our time, charity, compassion, patience, friendship, our forgiveness and tolerance and even our bodies, as long as it’s in the best interest of those we love.
But where are WE in the line when we’re being so generous? Are we in line at all!
What happens for me and I think for most of us (us being women, girls, females, chicks, mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, girlfriends etc.) is that it feels good to take care of the people and things we care about. There is a great sense of satisfaction that fills my heart and spirit when we know that those we love are ok and that we had a hand in their ok-ness.
It’s what we do…It is our role in the universe!
But around the age of 49 or so, my heart began to secretly pray, Lord …please let this be enough.
But I knew; I knew that it wasn’t!
I quickly realized that I would have to play catch up; that I would now have to learn to become the most important thing in my life; and that this was the only way that I was going to live out my fullest, truest and most complete life!
And I also discovered that, not finding myself first often enough over all these years was at the root of why I struggled with all those things me!
Up until this moment, my life had happily and naturally become this dance of moving back, stepping aside and waiting.
So, I made myself a promise and I want you to do the same. I promised myself to take now!
- I’m taking now to … say a prayer for me
- I’m taking now to … heal & comfort myself
- I’m taking now to … give myself time
- I’m taking now to … change my mind
- I’m taking now to … wish myself the very best
- I’m taking now to … be brutally honest with myself & you
- I’m taking now to … rest.
- I’m taking now to … forgive myself
- I’m taking now to … find the courage to be brave for my own sake
- I’m taking now to … provide myself the things I need as best I can.
- I’m taking now to … remember to pat my own back
- I’m taking now to … to cheer my name
- I’m taking now to … tell myself that everything’s going to be alright!
- I’m taking now to … have a little more self-respect
- I’m taking now to … have what I call fun
- I’m taking now to … cry HARD and be ok with it.
- I’m taking now to … say, “no” and be ok with it.
- I‘m taking now to … stop and be ok with it
- I’m taking now to … refuse to justify my actions
- I’m taking now to … let go of responsibility for your actions
- I’m taking now to … to adopt a “fuck you” attitude whenever applicable.
- I’m taking now to … let go of guilt, self-pity and other shitty feelings that hold me back
- I’m taking now to … listen to that little voice in the back of my head and respond accordingly.
- I’m taking now to… jump without letting how you feel about it stop me.
- I’m taking now to … finally decide
- I’m taking now to … say to myself, “girl, I LOVE YOU and YOU are the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE!”
In the midst of the this process, I learned a few things about a couple of major deterrents that can not only keep you from reaching success but can cause you to quit all together!
These MF’s are envy and frustration but I figured out how to keep them both under control!
You go online and there they are, websites that look better and are more creative and innovative than yours! They all seem to have it all figured out. They’re up and running and most of all, they seem to be making money! Sometimes it feels like there’s some sort of secret online business club where they give you all the secrets to success and everyone’s a member but you!
And there YOU are, struggling along. You’ve made some progress but you’re nowhere near where you want to be. Then to make it worse, you start to have those days when you question yourself. Is this it? Why isn’t it happening for me yet? Why is it taking me so long? What do they have that I don’t have? Why can’t I seem to get my sh*t together?! Ugh!!
Bottom line is, if you’re not careful, you’ll become so obsessed with what’s going on with everyone else’s business, that you’ll lose total focus on your own!
So here’s how I’ve been able to minimize my bouts of envy and frustration.
- Limit Your Surfing: It’s important to have examples of websites or entrepreneurs that you aspire to. The problem comes in when you’re just all over the place. Looking at everybody’s stuff for no rhyme or reason. Narrow your exposure to specifically those sites that you might want to model your site after. Ask yourself what can I learn from this site? How can it help me move forward? Look at them with this eye and with this in mind. When you do this, these sites will serve as resources for learning and development of your own ideas and strategies. So, once you discover 2 or 3 sites that inspire you, let these be your muse and envy and frustration will be replaced by motivation and creativity.
- Know What You’re Looking For: Before you start googling other sites, know why and what you’re looking for. What do you want to know? Be specific. Are you looking at formats, specific designs or layouts, topics or structure? If you do this, then you’re more likely to only see what you’re there to find and you’ll also ensure that you’re using your time constructively.
- Know going in that sometimes, theirs will be better than yours. It’s ok! In fact, when you’re starting out, you want to discover those sites that have their shit together. But instead of wallowing in all the things they got that you don’t got, figure out how they got it! Again, start with a mindset that says, “what can I learn from them?” This way, each visit has the potential to make you better!
- Don’t believe everything you read on the internet. I know we all know this so just humor me. Nobody is going to tell you the details about everything that’s going wrong with their business. All you know is what they want you to know and even that can be subject to exaggeration. So the reality is, you don’t know the inside story about other people’s perceive success but you can best believe there is a lot of good and bad going on behind the scenes. So relax, everybody’s going through somethin’!
- Beware of smiling faces! Ok, we all love instagram, facebook etc. They’re filled with beautiful people and places, happy families, encouraging words, vegan meals and Starbuck cups! But you have to stay conscious of the fact that these images depict a single moment and they are in no way a complete representation of the reality of people’s lives. If you can do this, then enjoy yourself. But if you tend to get caught up in the number of followers people have and you don’t, then you may need to pull back because this can be a big time killer. But if Instagram/facebook etc is a major weapon in your business arsenal, then simply invest the appropriate time and resources into making yours better.
- Greatness takes time. Give yourself credit for enduring the process, for successfully making the step-by-step effort. There is real value in trying. As long as you can honestly say you are consistently committed and doing your best, be patient; it’s coming!